Dating and the Kids

When you are single, dating can still be challenging, but when you are a single parent, dating takes on a completely new dimension. Double that if both of you are single parents. There are the obvious pre-date demands such as finding a babysitter, coordinating work schedules, and making sure you are not scheduling a date on the night your child has a recital. Some single parents feel guilty about dating, and others are not even sure they remember what to do on a date. You can recognize a single parent on a date, because they are always checking their cell phone.

The kids have a lot to do with the success or failure of your dating experience. If your children are babies, they will be fine as long as their feeding and changing needs are taken care of.  Elementary age children will be curious and protective. They will be curious about the date, and protective of their parent. If they do not approve of their parent dating or whom their dating, they may try to sabotage the date. Feigning a stomach ache or other illness is typical. Older kids are a crapshoot. Either they will love the idea and the person you are dating, or they will hate it and make your lives miserable. Watch out if you have an alpha male child who wants to defend his position in the family.

It is so important that your children understand that just because you are seeing someone does not mean that they are now less important. Likewise, the person you are seeing must understand that your children come first. This means that if a kid comes down with a fever, your date might have to cancel. Instead of getting upset, realize that the person you are interested in is a loving and responsible parent. This is a plus.

Until you have been dating a while, it is usually best to wait to introduce your children. A parade of different people may be confusing to them, especially if you are only with them for a short time. You want to make sure the person is worth keeping before you allow them to become involved in their lives. Even then, take it slow. At first, plan outings that are age appropriate, casual, and not too long in duration. As you all get to know each other, you can do activities that are more involved.

There are other things to consider as a dating single parent. You might encounter the other parent, and it may not be pleasant. Your children may not get along. How does your new interest relate to their children? Being a dating single parent does not mean you cannot have fun. It means that you have to consider the welfare of someone before yourself. When you have your priorities in order, you can relax and enjoy yourself, knowing that those who depend on you most are OK.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ramadan rules
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 12:08:43

    Hi there, I log on to your blogs daily. Your humoristic style is witty,
    keep doing what you’re doing!


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  4. the tao of badass reviews
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 18:00:39

    Howdy! This article couldn’t be written much better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept preaching about this. I’ll send this information to him.
    Pretty sure he’ll have a very good read. Thanks for sharing!


  5. btsbeauty
    Jun 01, 2013 @ 21:42:33

    What a relief to know I’m not the only one in a complicated relationship with girls. And rompers.


    • melsbabysis
      Jun 01, 2013 @ 21:50:47

      No, you’re not. I’m a single mom of 4. Although my youngest is now 19 and on her own, I still am cautious with the kids. When they are small, you have to be really careful, especially with girls. You may have to put having a relationship on hold for a bit. Your first priority is being a mom. Just take it slow. 🙂


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