Being Chased in Cali

Dear Sylvia:

You have got to help me. I’m being chased by a puma, and I don’t know what to do. I swear she’s stalking me. I met her a few months ago at our local bar, when I was there with friends. She wasn’t that attractive, but she was nice and a lot of fun. We went out a few times, but I never meant for it to become serious.

She says she’s “40-something”, but she’s probably older. Like I said, she’s fun and she knows how to please a man, but we just don’t have that much in common.  I don’t recall giving her any indication that I wanted a serious, or committed relationship with her. Heck, I didn’t want a “relationship” at all. Now she calls me on my cell all the time, or texts me if I don’t answer. She’s even calls me at work and, thanks to the receptionist, everyone wants to know who she is. I’m the butt of jokes at the office.

I’m thinking of changing my phone number and changing the locks on my doors. Thank God she doesn’t know where I live – yet. I would hate to wake up and find her standing over me. Sometimes I’ll be out and I get a jolt because I think I see her, but it’s my imagination. I’m losing sleep and need to know what to do.

Being Chased in Cali

Dear Chased:

Are you saying a big cat in the Sierra Nevada Mountains is chasing you? Oh, I see, an older woman, commonly referred to as a “cougar”, is pursuing you. That can be flattering, or a real problem. Unlike an older man with a younger woman, an older women with a younger man has been pretty much taboo in society. Today it is gaining popularity.

Usually these relationships are purely platonic because the typical cougar is not looking for a serious commitment. They’re out for the fun of it. Older women past their childbearing years feel a lot freer than younger women, and they bring with them a wealth of experience. Although, you seem to have attracted someone who has a stability problem. This reminds me of the movie Fatal Attraction with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas. If you own a pet rabbit, you might want to bring it inside.

I would definitely change your phone number and your locks. You should call her and set a time for the two of you to meet, in a public place, and let her know you won’t be seeing her again. Don’t linger, even if she starts crying. Make it brief, say goodbye, wish her well, and leave. If she persists, you may have to obtain a restraining order.

If you decide to date a cougar again, be sure you discuss up front all expectations. Don’t assume she’s only looking for a good time. Make sure you are not sending mixed signals. You might want to stick to women your own age, though.

Let me know how it goes,


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© Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thoughts Online, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thought Online with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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