Wilting in Washington

Dear Sylvia:

I became engaged a few months ago and now I have to start shopping for my wedding dress. Although I’m excited this shopping adventure, I also dread it. Everyone wants to go with me. How do I choose who to take with me. If I leave anyone out, they’ll hate me. My mom absolutely must be there. All of my bridesmaids want to go, as well as my overly opinionated sister. My future mother-in-law assumes she is going, even though we’re not that close. My fiancé even thinks he should be there!

It’s become such a nightmare, I feel like sneaking off by myself. This is supposed to be one of the most exciting times of my life, but I don’t even want to make an appointment. Sylvia, I’ve seriously considered eloping and forgetting the whole wedding thing.

Should I just bite-the-bullet and take everyone to keep the peace? I have a feeling I’d rather be under the dentist’s drill than try to find my perfect dress with all of these people and their opinions. I can’t make everyone happy.

Wilting in Washington

Dear Wilting:

Haven’t you ever watched “Yes to the Dress?” Taking a whole entourage with you to pick out your wedding dress is asking for trouble. Everybody thinks they know what will look best on you, and it’s usually based on what they like. Even if you tell them up front what you are looking for, it all goes out the window at the bridal salon. Let the bridal consultant run interference for you.

If you take everyone, you will not only have to be ready for all of those opinions (which probably will not agree with yours), but also disagreements among the group. Why does your fiancé want to be there? This is supposed to be a surprise for him, or is this a control issue? Inviting the future mother-in-law is a new thing. The bridesmaids will get their chance when it’s time to pick their dress. You are going to have to take charge. While it is nice to make everyone happy, understand that it may not happen. The last thing you want is to end up in tears, and leave without a dress.

Most girls want their moms with them. However, it would be a good idea to discuss with mom the kind of dress you want. Get some bridal magazines and show her pictures. The two of you being on the same page when you get there will make things go a lot smoother. Another good person to take would be your best friend; someone who has known you a while, and knows your tastes and style. Let the group know that you love them all, but you had to limit the number of people. You can include them in another part of the wedding planning.

At the end of the day it all boils down to you are the bride. This is your day. It is your wedding. You’re the one walking down that aisle. The only one that needs to be happy is you.

Best wishes,

Sylvia

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© Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thoughts Online, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thought Online with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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