Wondering in North Carolina

Dear Sylvia:

The man who I have been seeing wants me and my six-year-old daughter to move in with him. While it would be nice to be able to save some money, I’m not sure that this would be a good idea. He has two children from a former marriage. They are eight and nine-years-old and are both girls. We have most of our evening meals there, and I cook.

The problem I am having is that his house is always a mess, his girls fight a lot, and his ex frequently “drops by”, unannounced, to see the girls. Her attitude toward my daughter and me is usually hostile, and he does very little to defend us.

He’s been hinting at marriage. It would be nice not to be a single parent anymore. Do you think we should go ahead and move in with him?

Wondering in North Carolina

Dear Wondering:

Run; don’t walk away from this relationship as soon as possible. You don’t say how long you have been together, but it’s been long enough for you to have become housecleaner, cook, and babysitter. You are also running interference with his ex. If his daughters constantly fight each other, how would they behave toward your daughter if she lived there?

Another thing, you don’t mention love – on either side. Convenience is not a good reason to co-habitate with, or marry someone. In your case, the convenience is very one-sided – his side. Cut your losses and wait for that special someone who will value you, and not exploit you. You and your daughter deserve the best.

Sylvia

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© Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thoughts Online, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sylvia Van Peebles and Sylvia's Thought Online with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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